When you go on a first, second or third date, what do you expect from him? Do you want your heart to beat faster or is it enough to relax and enjoy an interesting conversation? The answer to this question usually changes with age as our priorities change.
Twenty without stress
The twenty, especially those who have been celebrating logs relatively recently, probably have the largest selection. “The possibilities for dating are basically endless for the new twenty. Almost everyone is the same. They study or start adult life “, points out the relationship coach Robin Nindová.
So few people want to settle down quickly. Some young people are not looking for commitment at all, but even those who want something more serious are not in a hurry, according to the coach. These are mainly romantic meetings and shared experiences. Including this heartbeat.
On the other hand, statistically the highest probability of meeting your future spouse occurs a few years before the age of thirty. This is also evidenced by the fact that most women decide to get married at the age of twenty-eight, most men get married at the age of thirty.
Suggestion: Have fun. This decade of life is very formative, which means that it is still being formed, mainly through new experiences. Even thanks to the acquaintance, one can find out who he is and what he wants, what he likes and what he does not. It is important to know what your true intentions are. If you are just looking for fun, do not hide it from your partner. And if you want something more serious, you can not say it to yourself.
Thirty is more realistic
Of course, not everyone hits the so-called thirty. After all, the phenomenon of singles is growing slowly for several decades. But people in their thirties usually no longer need to find out what they want and what they do not like.
“I usually see in my thirties that they know what they want and also what they need,” says relationship therapist Hernando Chavez. “They have a better and more realistic idea of what makes them happy.” That is, they no longer look for the cursed princess and look for the prince on a white horse.
And it’s not just about relationships. People at this age have a better idea of their needs in all areas of life. “Decades have passed for women to truly enjoy intimacy. “After the age of 30, dating can be much more satisfying for them than it was when they were twenty,” said clinical sexologist Valeria Chubalová, adding that she simply believes more.
“Precisely because at this age, they care less about what society thinks about their love life.” Instead of dwelling on what others expect them to do, they focus on what suits them. Really important.
If one knows what one wants, one can go against it and not defend oneself simply because one does not want to be disappointed. “From my point of view, opening up to a relationship means being willing to dare to meet and meet a partner. And if it does not suit us, do not tie yourself, but leave room for someone else “, thinks the psychologist Radka Gottwaldová.
“It does not mean a desperate search and effort to be with anyone, just to have someone. “Do not even explain to your counterparts on your second date that you love children and would like a large family, preferably soon.”
Suggestion: Do not cling to the past. Most people in their thirties already have a broken relationship and try to prevent them from returning to a painful situation. Often even unconsciously, the subconscious simply works.
But if you do not let anyone reach your body, you will probably not find the right one. And it’s still true advice to be honest with your counterpart and be realistic about yourself. It can save you a lot of time.
Captive colleges of the forties
After forty, most of us have a relatively stable life, which usually suits us. We often meet only close friends and good acquaintances or colleagues from work, in short, always the same people. If one is looking for a relationship or casual flirting, one should leave one’s comfort zone. “It’s time to get away, to expand the circle of acquaintances,” says relationship coach Robin Nindová.
Which is easy to say, but worse. It is not always necessary to find an unusual hobby or travel on your own, but courage usually pays off.
“For me, a reliable dating tool could have been amazing – a car ride. I used to have an older car and when I got home from Brno, I always drove my co-driver through a gate. An excellent method of acquaintance “, advises Gottwald.
“You talk for an hour and a quarter, because you are still sitting in this car, nobody expects anything from it, because you did not come there looking for your children’s fathers and most of these people kept in touch with me – still see some of them today, “he recalls.
Suggestion: Dust your dating skills. Try it with a friend, it can be fun. Get involved, remember what it once was like and give yourself the courage to take non-traditional steps for you. Help yourself as much as you can – for example, change the image if it puts you in the right mood.
Fate does not knock on the door even after fifty
The older we get, the more likely we are to get married or have a long-term relationship. Therefore, it may not be easy to start looking for a romantic match again.
“Re-entering the dating scene can be exciting and stressful at any age, but it’s doubly true for fifties,” says relationship coach Robin Nind.
“It simply came to our notice then. And as with anything else you want to achieve in life. “
What do you expect from a date? The answer to this question usually changes with age as our priorities change.
According to the coach, her clients at this age are already very few in emotion and just treat the situation in a realistic way. They know why they want to find someone, they are already realistic, they understand what they can expect from the relationship and they think if they are willing to sacrifice something for him, because if they are not met by the unexpected loss of a partner, their life is usually degraded and secured. .
Many complexes (appearance, aging, etc.) and prejudices can also discourage dating. But Robin Nind has good news for them – despite her general belief, most people in their fifties are looking for women their own age, not younger. “They want someone who is three years younger or older and will be a good life partner.”
Suggestion: Be positive. Your attitude and conversations with your potential counterparts should sound optimistic. Keep complaining to friends. If you are ashamed, realize three reasons why you deserve it. You can be great storytellers, chefs, have a good image… something something completely different. After all, people are so different and therefore interesting!
Where to go?
The environment can have a big impact on how the date will turn out, if you feel good and relaxed during it. Coffee in a cafeteria? Especially when it comes to the second or third meeting, one can be more original.
Of course there are concerts, bars or barbecues with friends, but try some of our tips – both young and old will surely find their own among them. Even if, you know, a man is as big as he feels, they say…
- Mini golf. Sure, you will meet families with children, but it is an activity that will be fun and will fill difficult times when topics for conversation arise. And you can talk to him without any problem.
- ZOO. If you stay together, you can get married here. The botanical garden or aquarium are also nice environments that inspire a number of interesting topics for discussion.
- On skates. Are you both athletic? Take a walk in the park or on a path.
- Climbing wall. There are also a number of outdoor.
- Lookout tower. There are many of them in democracy, many of them with their own special charm and sometimes interesting history. A walk is inevitable on such an appointment – and even better…
- Summer theater. There are about three hundred of them in the Czech Republic and watching a movie under the trees, even with a glass in hand, can be a romantic experience. In addition, they also offer older movies and with them memories…
- Farmers or other markets. Suggest a walk and head to the markets, where you can see, smell, enjoy delicious little things to eat in a very informal setting. To do this, a cup of homemade cider or good wine and the atmosphere will change immediately … In addition, the place immediately encourages discussions about what you like.
- Outdoor concerts. One can be an avid rocker in his seventies. But even classical music and jazz can be heard outside. Again, the informal atmosphere plays in your favor, the music also provides a number of topics for discussion. Regardless of the relaxation and the possible dance…
- Outdoor ballrooms with demonstration class. Various dance schools organize evenings full of dance and music, popular with salsa.
- Observatories. From mid-July to almost the end of August, it is possible to observe not only stars, but also meteors and other summer phenomena.
- Pumps. You will not be bored at any age. It just pays to be able to swim. If you happen to want to jump and run away…
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